2014-03-02
It's Tough Being 2 and Having to Pee at Night
I just had the cutest experience.
So I'm sitting here on the couch watching Breaking Bad. Fourth episode from the end of the series. Stuff's getting intense, right?
It's 12:40 a.m. Dark out. I'm home from a later-than-usual night at work.
Marie looks in the trash can, sees the meat, Hank calls her and she asks, "Why is there what looks like brains in the trash can?"
I hear noises from somewhere in the direction of the kitchen. Someone opening a door and shuffling around. The girls' room connects there, as does the back door, so my first thought is, 'Someone's breaking in and is in here right now.'
I pause Breaking Bad and walk over to the wall and look around into the kitchen. It's Beatrix. I've never seen her get up in the middle of the night before. Luckily it's the one night this week I'm up late. Usually I'm in bed by this time.
Why? She had to pee! She was super scared, though. Tears in her eyes. Poor thing. Turning her eyes away from light sources, all tired, probably confused.
I went in the bathroom with her and helped her pee in the little toilet on the floor, and I think she was really glad I was there to help. She might not have gone to wake either mama or I up. It looked like she was headed right for the bathroom.
Maybe she was tearing up because she was psyching herself up for a scary lone jaunt through the darkness just so she could relieve bladder tension and sleep again. Or maybe she thought she'd make one of us mad by waking us up. Hm, that makes me afraid of my own temper.
On the walk back to her room she broke into a light jog. I cuddled in bed with her for a minute, but I think it annoyed her, so I got up and left the room, dad duty accomplished. Maybe it didn't annoy her. Sometimes she moves suddenly.
Perhaps tomorrow we can talk about it and make a plan of action for future night bathroom excursions. That would be the good dad thing to do, wouldn't it? That and do the dishes.
So I'm sitting here on the couch watching Breaking Bad. Fourth episode from the end of the series. Stuff's getting intense, right?
It's 12:40 a.m. Dark out. I'm home from a later-than-usual night at work.
Marie looks in the trash can, sees the meat, Hank calls her and she asks, "Why is there what looks like brains in the trash can?"
I hear noises from somewhere in the direction of the kitchen. Someone opening a door and shuffling around. The girls' room connects there, as does the back door, so my first thought is, 'Someone's breaking in and is in here right now.'
I pause Breaking Bad and walk over to the wall and look around into the kitchen. It's Beatrix. I've never seen her get up in the middle of the night before. Luckily it's the one night this week I'm up late. Usually I'm in bed by this time.
Why? She had to pee! She was super scared, though. Tears in her eyes. Poor thing. Turning her eyes away from light sources, all tired, probably confused.
I went in the bathroom with her and helped her pee in the little toilet on the floor, and I think she was really glad I was there to help. She might not have gone to wake either mama or I up. It looked like she was headed right for the bathroom.
Maybe she was tearing up because she was psyching herself up for a scary lone jaunt through the darkness just so she could relieve bladder tension and sleep again. Or maybe she thought she'd make one of us mad by waking us up. Hm, that makes me afraid of my own temper.
On the walk back to her room she broke into a light jog. I cuddled in bed with her for a minute, but I think it annoyed her, so I got up and left the room, dad duty accomplished. Maybe it didn't annoy her. Sometimes she moves suddenly.
Perhaps tomorrow we can talk about it and make a plan of action for future night bathroom excursions. That would be the good dad thing to do, wouldn't it? That and do the dishes.
2014-02-13
Stills, porch: 14.02.13
Birthday season is upon us.
My 32nd: 2.27. Lucy's 5th: 3.11. Megan's: 4.28. BB's 3rd: 5.23.
Job news: I hve interviews with two internship coordintors (one lined up, the other lining up) with two different pR firms. Exciting times!\
I think I hve applecarae still... maybe they'll fix my dkeyborad 4 free?
2014-01-08
Man's Next Lesson, a take on #TeamGrownAssMan
The underlying theme of #TeamGrownAssMan is not that this guy is a particularly spectacular dad, but that more guys need to cop to his level. The chauvinism of humanity's entire past lingers in men, and conversely its acceptance lingers in the women who partner with them.
Evidence of this are the headlines that appear from a search for #teamgrownassman. News outlets are trying to stay editorially unsided on the issue, while simultaneously involving themselves with the issue. They focus on the reaction the story got via internet comment forums, which, as we all know, are often where the apes hang out.
What I'd rather focus on is the big picture. I'd rather take more of a side on the issue. Why is it acceptable that dads wouldn't have to share dad duties at least 50/50 with their women?
Take a look at lions.
If Disney Cartoon Animals Were Scientifically Accurate -- powered by Cracked.com
Ew.
Now take apes. They came a little farther by learning to avoid in-breeding.
Now take man. We know how to wash our hands often and take our shoes off inside the house; we've mastered the basics! Tools to ensure our cleanliness, health and survival, in our homes and ourselves, are available in stores in every town.
Now, we're onto larger, social issues. With technology constantly advancing and replacing superstition, we can afford to see how many previously-acceptable negatives in human life and society are to be avoided, and that to ensure our long-term survival, with so many fucking people on the planet, we're all going to have to start getting along!
We've learned that slavery is wrong. Rape is wrong. Violence is wrong. War has been made economically unfeasible for those who would wage it. Guns and their glamorization are helping to make murderers out of the mentally disabled.
Man's next lesson has got to be more down-home. It goes hand-in-hand with accepting gays and their right to be married, and with marijuana being de-stigmatized.
Man's next lesson is to accept females as equal to males. This will play out in the world as fathers start jumping in and take care of more dad duties in their homes. Change has to start at home.
"[Narrator, smoky female voice] And now ... Dot's Poetry Corner.
[Dot] (clears throat) Requiem ... for a Lamb: Mary had a little lamb ... with mint jelly. Thank you.
[Narrator] This has been Dot's Poetry Corner."
This show is amazing. My kids are obsessed with it. The writing, the voice acting, the music, the animation—it's all top-notch.
Okay, you get my point from all that shit above, right? Humanity exists on a continuum, from where I'm positioned. It's slowly getting better, at least in the United States. The reaction to #TGAM by internet commenters is a microcosm of how the world still works, in large pockets that don't really appear in the news, because they're depressing. Or people are scared to admit it. Or they're evolutionarily disinclined to admit it. Admit what? Admit when they sit on their ass or go out to bars when their women stay home to put the kids to bed, change diapers, and basically live other lives in addition to their own. It's a tough job, and women shouldn't have to do it on their own. Parenting can feel like never being able to leave work; it makes you hate everything your kids do, and then hate yourself. It can start to suck really hard if you don't have any help, even if your partner makes the bacon all day but doesn't help with the kids and chores when they come home.
I don't care how hard their job is. You get breaks at a job. You get adult conversations. You're not arguing with people who don't understand you at all, all day long. Work with adults is a whole different thing than staying at home with kids. You feel like a goddam housecleaner sometimes, unappreciated and unnoticed. Women go thru this all the time, dudes.
So when a story like #TGAM comes out, I really gravitate to it and want to talk about it, bring it out in the open, shine the light of day on it.
Agh, I'm done now, really dun.
BB is potty-training now, going in the small toilet on the floor. She'll graduate to the big toilet soon. The point is that I'm not changing diapers anymore, which is fucking amazing. Once I started to push it, the change came in a matter of days. It's great. I probably handled it a lot better this time than with Lucy. She was my practice run. It's sad, but true: the first kid gets all your stress, and the second kid always gets off easier.
Evidence of this are the headlines that appear from a search for #teamgrownassman. News outlets are trying to stay editorially unsided on the issue, while simultaneously involving themselves with the issue. They focus on the reaction the story got via internet comment forums, which, as we all know, are often where the apes hang out.
What I'd rather focus on is the big picture. I'd rather take more of a side on the issue. Why is it acceptable that dads wouldn't have to share dad duties at least 50/50 with their women?
Take a look at lions.
If Disney Cartoon Animals Were Scientifically Accurate -- powered by Cracked.com
Ew.
Now take apes. They came a little farther by learning to avoid in-breeding.
Now take man. We know how to wash our hands often and take our shoes off inside the house; we've mastered the basics! Tools to ensure our cleanliness, health and survival, in our homes and ourselves, are available in stores in every town.
Now, we're onto larger, social issues. With technology constantly advancing and replacing superstition, we can afford to see how many previously-acceptable negatives in human life and society are to be avoided, and that to ensure our long-term survival, with so many fucking people on the planet, we're all going to have to start getting along!
We've learned that slavery is wrong. Rape is wrong. Violence is wrong. War has been made economically unfeasible for those who would wage it. Guns and their glamorization are helping to make murderers out of the mentally disabled.
Man's next lesson has got to be more down-home. It goes hand-in-hand with accepting gays and their right to be married, and with marijuana being de-stigmatized.
Man's next lesson is to accept females as equal to males. This will play out in the world as fathers start jumping in and take care of more dad duties in their homes. Change has to start at home.
SWITCHING GEARS
¯˘˘¯
This is what Animaniacs just gave me, just now:"[Narrator, smoky female voice] And now ... Dot's Poetry Corner.
[Dot] (clears throat) Requiem ... for a Lamb: Mary had a little lamb ... with mint jelly. Thank you.
[Narrator] This has been Dot's Poetry Corner."
This show is amazing. My kids are obsessed with it. The writing, the voice acting, the music, the animation—it's all top-notch.
Okay, you get my point from all that shit above, right? Humanity exists on a continuum, from where I'm positioned. It's slowly getting better, at least in the United States. The reaction to #TGAM by internet commenters is a microcosm of how the world still works, in large pockets that don't really appear in the news, because they're depressing. Or people are scared to admit it. Or they're evolutionarily disinclined to admit it. Admit what? Admit when they sit on their ass or go out to bars when their women stay home to put the kids to bed, change diapers, and basically live other lives in addition to their own. It's a tough job, and women shouldn't have to do it on their own. Parenting can feel like never being able to leave work; it makes you hate everything your kids do, and then hate yourself. It can start to suck really hard if you don't have any help, even if your partner makes the bacon all day but doesn't help with the kids and chores when they come home.
I don't care how hard their job is. You get breaks at a job. You get adult conversations. You're not arguing with people who don't understand you at all, all day long. Work with adults is a whole different thing than staying at home with kids. You feel like a goddam housecleaner sometimes, unappreciated and unnoticed. Women go thru this all the time, dudes.
So when a story like #TGAM comes out, I really gravitate to it and want to talk about it, bring it out in the open, shine the light of day on it.
Agh, I'm done now, really dun.
BB is potty-training now, going in the small toilet on the floor. She'll graduate to the big toilet soon. The point is that I'm not changing diapers anymore, which is fucking amazing. Once I started to push it, the change came in a matter of days. It's great. I probably handled it a lot better this time than with Lucy. She was my practice run. It's sad, but true: the first kid gets all your stress, and the second kid always gets off easier.
LOVE YOU GUYS
2014-01-04
I Used to Live Here
So this is a video of a place I used to live, Michigan and Minnie's Cooperative Houses (Mich Haus & Minnie's) in Ann Arbor, MI. The two houses are an extension of the Inter-Cooperative Council of the University of Michigan.
Basically it's like this. You're a young person in Ann Arbor, and you're either a student at U of M, or if you're like me, you're a nearby community college student trying to get into U of M. You find out about the co-ops: they're a series of about 20 big-ass townhouses peppered throughout the city. Most attractively, the rent is cheap (even cheaper during summer months), and it covers both utilities, and the delivering of food to your house every week in a big truck.
Equally attractive to me is that it's a self-contained set of houses (Mich-Minnie's is the only two-house set of all the cooperative houses, unless you count Joint House, which is arguably one big, insane establishment) filled with people my age. I was a few years younger than everyone when I moved in, and I stayed there for three years.
The residents change along with U of M's academic periods. New people move in and out all the time. Some people stay on for several years and become well-known within the system, but eventually, everyone moves out. It's a constant cycle.
Sadly, it thusly leaves behind, in a way, former members like myself. I pine for those days. There was always someone around, either running in and out, going back to school to study or to their rooms, or just hanging out making food, being social. The front porch was a great time in and of itself, for both houses.
Mich Hausers were always a bit less cultured than us purple Minnie's people, but we had to mingle with them cause they had the working kitchen, so there you have that relationship struggle every day.
I jest, Mich Hausers. You troglodytes.
So anyway, back to the video above. Everyone who lives there shares work duties, right? But once a year, they have an extra-thorough work holiday, where from 9-5, everyone pitches in and, as one co-opper says in the video, "We clean stuff that doesn't normally get cleaned."
There was a certain air about living in those two houses. You had a sense you were part of something greater than the standard bullshit living situation you see so many apartment-dwellers in. We all forsook a little bit of privacy and put in a little more of our own time working to keep us and the collective happy, but it was infinitely more fulfilling than having my own place was as soon as I moved out.
Yes, after I moved out of the co-op, my life kinda started to suck. It took me a year to pull it all together. My co-op roommate one year was Tim ... Tom Waits, and we moved into this apartment in an alley that was so dismal I don't even want to describe it. The most depressing place I ever have and ever will live. My friend Chuck Thompson visited me there once. We had a bit of an adventure, and it all didn't end so great, but he's like, the only friend of mine from Manistee that ever saw the place. Oh yeah, Jessie Hojo came there a few times, and Leah Somsel too. And my brother and Mike Casey.
Oh, and Joy Shaeffer met Emily Elert one time and that's another high school connection.
Bit of Manistee gossip mixed in with Ann Arbor gossip there. From the nineties and early 2000s. C ya.
Basically it's like this. You're a young person in Ann Arbor, and you're either a student at U of M, or if you're like me, you're a nearby community college student trying to get into U of M. You find out about the co-ops: they're a series of about 20 big-ass townhouses peppered throughout the city. Most attractively, the rent is cheap (even cheaper during summer months), and it covers both utilities, and the delivering of food to your house every week in a big truck.
Equally attractive to me is that it's a self-contained set of houses (Mich-Minnie's is the only two-house set of all the cooperative houses, unless you count Joint House, which is arguably one big, insane establishment) filled with people my age. I was a few years younger than everyone when I moved in, and I stayed there for three years.
The residents change along with U of M's academic periods. New people move in and out all the time. Some people stay on for several years and become well-known within the system, but eventually, everyone moves out. It's a constant cycle.
Sadly, it thusly leaves behind, in a way, former members like myself. I pine for those days. There was always someone around, either running in and out, going back to school to study or to their rooms, or just hanging out making food, being social. The front porch was a great time in and of itself, for both houses.
Mich Hausers were always a bit less cultured than us purple Minnie's people, but we had to mingle with them cause they had the working kitchen, so there you have that relationship struggle every day.
I jest, Mich Hausers. You troglodytes.
So anyway, back to the video above. Everyone who lives there shares work duties, right? But once a year, they have an extra-thorough work holiday, where from 9-5, everyone pitches in and, as one co-opper says in the video, "We clean stuff that doesn't normally get cleaned."
There was a certain air about living in those two houses. You had a sense you were part of something greater than the standard bullshit living situation you see so many apartment-dwellers in. We all forsook a little bit of privacy and put in a little more of our own time working to keep us and the collective happy, but it was infinitely more fulfilling than having my own place was as soon as I moved out.
Yes, after I moved out of the co-op, my life kinda started to suck. It took me a year to pull it all together. My co-op roommate one year was Tim ... Tom Waits, and we moved into this apartment in an alley that was so dismal I don't even want to describe it. The most depressing place I ever have and ever will live. My friend Chuck Thompson visited me there once. We had a bit of an adventure, and it all didn't end so great, but he's like, the only friend of mine from Manistee that ever saw the place. Oh yeah, Jessie Hojo came there a few times, and Leah Somsel too. And my brother and Mike Casey.
Oh, and Joy Shaeffer met Emily Elert one time and that's another high school connection.
Bit of Manistee gossip mixed in with Ann Arbor gossip there. From the nineties and early 2000s. C ya.
2013-12-18
Stalling the Answering of Readers' Questions
Hey, everybody. I love you all.
So yesterday, in an attempt to disintegrate my Dad-Blog-Writer's-Block, I asked my Facebook Friends™ what I should write about.
The response was overwhelming!
Now, if those last two sentences were a news piece or press release, the fact that the response was overwhelming would come first, setting up the fact that I asked a question in the second part of the sentence, like so:
An overwhelming response was the answer to a blogging father's simple question yesterday via Facebook.
There, a 15-word lead sentence. That's what you want to shoot for, short, snappy, says everything without making the reader use more brain cells than necessary by being bungalow written meow with style, grace, meow, poise, and grace.
Now that I really have your attention, let me instead just improvise, cause that's what my brain wants to do. I actually have an idea to write about!
So yesterday, in an attempt to disintegrate my Dad-Blog-Writer's-Block, I asked my Facebook Friends™ what I should write about.
The response was overwhelming!
Now, if those last two sentences were a news piece or press release, the fact that the response was overwhelming would come first, setting up the fact that I asked a question in the second part of the sentence, like so:
An overwhelming response was the answer to a blogging father's simple question yesterday via Facebook.
There, a 15-word lead sentence. That's what you want to shoot for, short, snappy, says everything without making the reader use more brain cells than necessary by being bungalow written meow with style, grace, meow, poise, and grace.
Now that I really have your attention, let me instead just improvise, cause that's what my brain wants to do. I actually have an idea to write about!
Preface:
My girls' names are Lucy and BB. They're 4.75 and 2.66 years old. Really getting good at playing together. They're always in good spirits in the morning, especially.
Aaaaaand BB just walks in and says, "Uh — I nee diapah change."
2hrs later
Aaand I'm back. That whole thing turned into BB having peed in her diaper, actually wanting to sit on the toilet, sitting on the toilet with my help, and agreeing to wear underwear instead of a diaper for the first time. And she's had underwear on for a good while. I'm just waiting for either a big mess to clean up, or a warning from her that it's coming soon.
Now. Back to what I was talking about. They let me sleep in every morning nowadays!
Yes, you heard it right, this dad sleeps in till 8:30 a.m., even 9:20 one day. And what are my kids doing while I snooze? They get themselves up and turn on Netflix for Kids on the Wii, and watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. Or some other kids show. And they're totally fine. Whenever I wake up, I always listen for the sound of them laughing. There are worse ways to wake up, and I think this is maybe a karmic reward for four years of being woken daily at 7 a.m. or earlier, regardless of how much sleep I've had or daylight savings time.
The reason I've been sleeping in is that I've been working this night job, cooking at Sundance Cinema. It keeps me out till around 10 p.m. whenever I have a shift, which is three or four times per week. This week is a four-day week. And whenever I come home, I need a few hours to de-energize and get sleepy. Last night it was just past 1 a.m. when I hit the hay.
The point of all this is to say that I have entered a new phase of my life. BB is OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINING AS OF TODAY and my kids are old enough to play with each other and not rely on me so much. (remember how I was waiting for a mess or a warning? I got a mess. Two, in fact. A variety.)
One thing I always wish I could do more with Lucy is color with her. I must seem like a real weirdo being on my computer all day, but I'm trying to search for a job. And my kind of job searching is weird right now. It's all online, and I kind of have to do it while I'm at home with the girls. I'm trying to get into PR, so branding myself and gaining followers is key. And it's starting to work, I'm putting Twitter to use for myself and starting conversations with industry people. Blogging is a part of all that, so here we are. It all amounts to me being too busy to spend as much time with my growing, developing kids as I and they want.
But I also tell myself, that whenever I get a job that'll keep me busy 40hrs/week, my kids are going to be in daycare. Then I'll be around them even less.
Then I think of what Louis C.K. said on Conan that one time: "I'm not here to make them happy." (4:32) "I'm not raising children, I'm raising the grown-ups they're gonna be, so I have to raise them with the tools to get through a terrible life." The sentiment is what's important here. My job search will keep them happier in the long run, with the stability that money brings a family.
Plus, I mean, my kids, they're fine. They've got each other. And, just this morning, I drew a stethoscope on a piece of paper on the kitchen floor with a pencil, just like Lucy asked me to do. Both kids were sitting and watching. Then after cleaning up both of BB's bathroom errors today (she's going to read this when she's older and totally hate me for putting this about her online), I did color with Lucy. I drew the two toy cars that were sitting on the table. Now I'm back finishing this.
Shit I do a lot in the day. Raising two kids, then going out to serve other people as a cook, getting harped on by my manager and lead cook if I make one or two mistakes, come home, try to decompress quickly, play some video games, and then go to bed.
Interesting thing about me, I don't watch nearly as much tv as I play video games. They're more interesting lately. Well, Fallout is anyway. Best writing in video games of, like, all time. The writing is what's important to me. I'll take the usual guns and killing and stuff as long as the writing is good. Good writing makes for memorable characters and rich and unique gaming experiences.
Here, I'll leave you with this, an article I found recently about teaching kids Lucy's age how to draw. It's really good, but there's one line in there I don't really understand, and if anybody could explain it to me that'd be good:
"I fail them if I take any pleasure out of drawing." You'll see it, the author highlighted the words in red.
C ya!
2013-11-26
Online Character Creation, Current Obsession, Job Update (tbc)
Every time I look at my blog, I see the last entry I wrote, right? That's what's always on top. Invariably, I think, every time, "God! What an idiot. I have to write a new entry to clear this up."
Then I think, "Don't say the Lord's name in vain." I mean, even if you're not religious, there's no point, right?
It's part of my overall thought process, that this blog should be all me, all the time. But there are things about me I don't want to tell the world. So then teh blog becomes not an honest depiction of myself, but a measured one, a fabricated one.
But I must have my online personality, right? I always thought I could transcend that notion, that of having to 'craft' something of yourself, a facsimile, a wayward notion that diverts from what's true, in the interest of self-marketing. Would it not be better to have a truly human online representation, free from self-editing, free from error (because if you're free, there is no error).
Alas, that is not what people want to see. And for good reason—every person's already got that side of themselves covered. Everyone else is just like me, human, more human than they can likely stand, full of error.
Maybe the answer is that, in a fabricated self, there can, in reality, be no error. You craft your online persona as an author, an auteur, a Hemingway or a Marx or a Xiaolin, and you are its master.
The hardest part is not fully knowing whether it's attached to Bethesda, that they've been tight-lipped about it, and that it might be a hoax. I mean, the hype train is certainly a'rollin on this one, folx.
Then I think, "Don't say the Lord's name in vain." I mean, even if you're not religious, there's no point, right?
It's part of my overall thought process, that this blog should be all me, all the time. But there are things about me I don't want to tell the world. So then teh blog becomes not an honest depiction of myself, but a measured one, a fabricated one.
But I must have my online personality, right? I always thought I could transcend that notion, that of having to 'craft' something of yourself, a facsimile, a wayward notion that diverts from what's true, in the interest of self-marketing. Would it not be better to have a truly human online representation, free from self-editing, free from error (because if you're free, there is no error).
Alas, that is not what people want to see. And for good reason—every person's already got that side of themselves covered. Everyone else is just like me, human, more human than they can likely stand, full of error.
Maybe the answer is that, in a fabricated self, there can, in reality, be no error. You craft your online persona as an author, an auteur, a Hemingway or a Marx or a Xiaolin, and you are its master.
DØˇ®>≤¯
So lately I've been checking this and this every day, waiting with baited breath. There are new developments every day, seemingly banal to the non-Fallout fan, but to a full-blown NCR / Ceasar's Legion / Brotherhood of Steel inductee, conqueror of the water purifier and Malcolm McDowell's President Eden, every small change in the Morse Code, and every new small page that's discovered is like PURE DRINKABLE GOLD.
The hardest part is not fully knowing whether it's attached to Bethesda, that they've been tight-lipped about it, and that it might be a hoax. I mean, the hype train is certainly a'rollin on this one, folx.
More importantly, I've been learning a lot in my Bid Kid Job Hunt. In the meantime, working at Sundance Cinema, down on the corner of NE 45th St. and 9th Ave NE, just on the western outskirts of the U. District. My manager and schedule-writer there just gave me Thanksgiving off to spend with my Smith Family contingent in Bellingham, during what's projected to be Sundance's busiest weekend yet.
The Hunger Games is out, people. #3 in the series, is it? Catching Fire, or some subtitle? I just helped to get us through our two busiest days ever, last Fri and Sat nights, slingin food like a baus, keeping a cool head and earning that paper. So the fact that I got what's projected to be a busier night off, says that both, they must like me, and they must be cool people.
Lemme go take a webcam shot of me and the kids before I continue.
Aah, I'm done. Gotta go outside with these chickies.
It will be good to spend the holidays with family.
2013-10-24
Lucy-to-Self Similarity, Economics Rant, Happy Photo
Lucy just said, "Come on, BB, it'll be so amazing!"
That is purely some adult talk coming out. She just came over to sit with me on the couch. She reached up with her little hand, patted my head and said, "You're such a nice dada."
Now Lucy will type.
zelda
lucy
link camping sword shield
"Now you could type on it a little more," is her way of gracefully exiting what has become a boring situation. Then she turns around at a thought that has suddenly entered her head, and says, very nicely and playing at manipulating me through niceness, "Yes, you can type on your computer, and I can play Windwaker." As she says it, BB comes skipping into the room, smiling at the hearing of Lucy saying she's gonna play a game.
The tv had been off all day so far! The girls let me sleep till 9 (they sleep later in the day now that it takes longer for the sun to rise), and they both were more interested in making a fort (going camping) than in the tv. I was impressed. So I kept it off too. Started searching through Craigslist and LinkedIn for available writing jobs.
By the way, you can tell by what she typed above (with my help locating the letters of what she wanted to spell) what Lucy's obsessed with lately. Just like myself, brother, and father. All avid Zelda game lovers and enthusiasts. The camping thing she saw on Curious George and ... some other tv show, but she's been talking about camping just about every day for the past few weeks.
Right now, Lucy's playing Super Smash Brothers Melee, a Gamecube game that pits Mario, Link, and a bunch of other well-known and obscure Nintendo game characters against one another in a sort of very innocent fighting game scenario that is also very well-designed and seemingly endlessly fun, and what she wants to do more than anything is play as Link, then, during the match, set him up in various poses, like jumping, stumbling, making him pose and brush his hair out of his bug-eyed, anime, girly face, etc., pause the game, and, using the ensuing camera zoom and rotate options during the pause menu, to get a near-360º look at him.
She'll be a graphic designer. Can't wait to show her programs like InDesign and Photoshop. Whoa, now she's Metal Link and he's like, all chrome and reflecty. This game is cool. And Lucy, four-and-one-half years old, is getting really good at playing it.
I don't know how old I was when I started playing games, but it wasn't four. It was like, six, or seven. Not to say that it's surprising or unexpected that Lucy would be good at video games at an earlier age than I was, but just that ... it's kind of telling of her personality, her love of control of the game character and the sort of artistic creation side that goes along with it. Her and I are both Pisces. I think. Mine's Feb. 27 and she's March 11. Anyway, something about us is that we like to be constantly creating, to be always artistically fulfilled. Gaming is perfect for that.
Some may say gaming equals little more than sitting on a couch. I say it helps you let go, to become lost in your own thoughts, enticing you to practice finding ways out, but also of diving in, to know yourself, what you like, and also to have some general life tension relieved. It may be somewhat addicting, like a big and bright-sounding and -looking drug, but here's the thing about that: Lucy has self-control. She'll turn the Wii and the tv off after she's gotten bored. Another thing about her and I: we get bored quickly, and we have no problem walking away from something that isn't worth our time and brain power to explore. If there's nothing new there, then fuck it, walk away and get excited about something else.
On that note, I guess now's a good time to say that I just quit my cover band, Metallibüx. Now, as per lessons I've learned from quitting bands and blogging about it before, I won't get into the details. Suffice to say, I wish them the best, they could make it if they found another great lead guitarist, well-versed in the cock-rock they cover, and probably closer to their age too.
Main reason for quitting: life is too stressful at home now to have another band on my plate. Freeze is enough, and that's a great gig because it's just me and another guy, and we practice at my house. No commute time, but no gigs either. We've got a drumset down there to jam on sometimes, and all the recording gear we need. Little by little, we've been building our studio setup.
But—I digress. Yes, things are officially stressful around the home, but you know what it's not due to? Interpersonal tensions. We get along great around here. You want to know what it's all due to?
$$$
Yes, folks, we're burning through money fast around here. Megan works full-time, making a perfectly reasonable amount of money for a good company. You'd think that would be enough to support a family of four, right? Wrong. Not where we live. Seattle is too expensive. Capitol Hill's cool, smaller businesses are closing down, and pricey restaurants and salons are opening. Money is coming in from all over the place. We live, for example, directly north of the University District, one block from Whole Foods Market, which draws a wealthier clientele than your Safeways, QFCs, Albertson's, and Costcos. So that raises prices in the neighborhood, including the price of rent. I mean, who doesn't want to live close to the places they shop? And if you can afford it, you'll make it happen, right?
I saw a news piece on KOMO a week ago that said that the price of rent in Seattle is now equal to that of a mortgage payment. Isn't that shit ridiculous? So we're burning through savings. I recently took up a job as a cook at a theater close to our place. Minimal commute, but it's only going to net me about $500/month, which is half of what I need to be making to get us out of the red every month, and at least treading water.
In the meantime, I'm looking for other jobs. And I'm always thinking about moving to someplace cheaper, like Michigan, closer to our families, but would we be better off, or just in the same situation in another state? Seattle costs more, but there's jobs. There's opportunity. You can do anything you want here, you just have to work hard to get noticed, to stand out from the crowd.
I think it's been more than a little depressing to me that my bachelor's degree, a nine-year endeavor, all things considered, just acquired last Spring, my only real goal besides raising healthy children for the past like, third of my life, is turning out to be a little less than worthless. Here's my rationale for that statement: if it doesn't net you a job, and it costs a shitton to acheive in loans, then is it a net gain or loss to have one if it doesn't net you a higher-paying job after you graduate?
Fuck it man. Megan's been looking into ownership options, dawg. A condo or a small house. Because fuck rent here. We have a lot of space here, but we're paying twice as much for it as we would in Michigan (not Ann Arbor, though, my old haunt, college-town-with-$$$-like-Seattle). Anyway, who wants to be throwing money down an endless pit, month after month? Ownership is where it's at when you've got family.
The American Dream is available. I believe if you work hard enough at it, it can be achieved. So now I'm done typing, you pricks, thank you for reading. I love you all. Back to the job search, the marketing-of-self, the bastardization-of-life-and-love. I dream of rock star life, doing what I'm really good at, making money and travelling everywhere and having pictures taken of me a lot and then starring in a film I have no business being in.
Again, I love you all. Sincerely. My parents taught me this love. Thank them. My dad gave me the razor's edge, and my mom gave me my passion. Sometimes those two fuse together into me being a dick, but inside my brain, when I consider those I know and those around me, those who've come before me and all those will follow, I'm filled with love, not hatred, not anything negative, but a definite warming feeling. Having kids helped, but I believe I've always been this way. A lover, not a fighter.
Though I do love fighting movies. Just watched the third Universal Soldier movie last night. That shit was tight. Modern action movie.
Hey, lookathat, Lucy just turned off the tv!
That is purely some adult talk coming out. She just came over to sit with me on the couch. She reached up with her little hand, patted my head and said, "You're such a nice dada."
Now Lucy will type.
zelda
lucy
link camping sword shield
"Now you could type on it a little more," is her way of gracefully exiting what has become a boring situation. Then she turns around at a thought that has suddenly entered her head, and says, very nicely and playing at manipulating me through niceness, "Yes, you can type on your computer, and I can play Windwaker." As she says it, BB comes skipping into the room, smiling at the hearing of Lucy saying she's gonna play a game.
The tv had been off all day so far! The girls let me sleep till 9 (they sleep later in the day now that it takes longer for the sun to rise), and they both were more interested in making a fort (going camping) than in the tv. I was impressed. So I kept it off too. Started searching through Craigslist and LinkedIn for available writing jobs.
By the way, you can tell by what she typed above (with my help locating the letters of what she wanted to spell) what Lucy's obsessed with lately. Just like myself, brother, and father. All avid Zelda game lovers and enthusiasts. The camping thing she saw on Curious George and ... some other tv show, but she's been talking about camping just about every day for the past few weeks.
Right now, Lucy's playing Super Smash Brothers Melee, a Gamecube game that pits Mario, Link, and a bunch of other well-known and obscure Nintendo game characters against one another in a sort of very innocent fighting game scenario that is also very well-designed and seemingly endlessly fun, and what she wants to do more than anything is play as Link, then, during the match, set him up in various poses, like jumping, stumbling, making him pose and brush his hair out of his bug-eyed, anime, girly face, etc., pause the game, and, using the ensuing camera zoom and rotate options during the pause menu, to get a near-360º look at him.
She'll be a graphic designer. Can't wait to show her programs like InDesign and Photoshop. Whoa, now she's Metal Link and he's like, all chrome and reflecty. This game is cool. And Lucy, four-and-one-half years old, is getting really good at playing it.
I don't know how old I was when I started playing games, but it wasn't four. It was like, six, or seven. Not to say that it's surprising or unexpected that Lucy would be good at video games at an earlier age than I was, but just that ... it's kind of telling of her personality, her love of control of the game character and the sort of artistic creation side that goes along with it. Her and I are both Pisces. I think. Mine's Feb. 27 and she's March 11. Anyway, something about us is that we like to be constantly creating, to be always artistically fulfilled. Gaming is perfect for that.
Some may say gaming equals little more than sitting on a couch. I say it helps you let go, to become lost in your own thoughts, enticing you to practice finding ways out, but also of diving in, to know yourself, what you like, and also to have some general life tension relieved. It may be somewhat addicting, like a big and bright-sounding and -looking drug, but here's the thing about that: Lucy has self-control. She'll turn the Wii and the tv off after she's gotten bored. Another thing about her and I: we get bored quickly, and we have no problem walking away from something that isn't worth our time and brain power to explore. If there's nothing new there, then fuck it, walk away and get excited about something else.
On that note, I guess now's a good time to say that I just quit my cover band, Metallibüx. Now, as per lessons I've learned from quitting bands and blogging about it before, I won't get into the details. Suffice to say, I wish them the best, they could make it if they found another great lead guitarist, well-versed in the cock-rock they cover, and probably closer to their age too.
Main reason for quitting: life is too stressful at home now to have another band on my plate. Freeze is enough, and that's a great gig because it's just me and another guy, and we practice at my house. No commute time, but no gigs either. We've got a drumset down there to jam on sometimes, and all the recording gear we need. Little by little, we've been building our studio setup.
But—I digress. Yes, things are officially stressful around the home, but you know what it's not due to? Interpersonal tensions. We get along great around here. You want to know what it's all due to?
$$$
Yes, folks, we're burning through money fast around here. Megan works full-time, making a perfectly reasonable amount of money for a good company. You'd think that would be enough to support a family of four, right? Wrong. Not where we live. Seattle is too expensive. Capitol Hill's cool, smaller businesses are closing down, and pricey restaurants and salons are opening. Money is coming in from all over the place. We live, for example, directly north of the University District, one block from Whole Foods Market, which draws a wealthier clientele than your Safeways, QFCs, Albertson's, and Costcos. So that raises prices in the neighborhood, including the price of rent. I mean, who doesn't want to live close to the places they shop? And if you can afford it, you'll make it happen, right?
I saw a news piece on KOMO a week ago that said that the price of rent in Seattle is now equal to that of a mortgage payment. Isn't that shit ridiculous? So we're burning through savings. I recently took up a job as a cook at a theater close to our place. Minimal commute, but it's only going to net me about $500/month, which is half of what I need to be making to get us out of the red every month, and at least treading water.
In the meantime, I'm looking for other jobs. And I'm always thinking about moving to someplace cheaper, like Michigan, closer to our families, but would we be better off, or just in the same situation in another state? Seattle costs more, but there's jobs. There's opportunity. You can do anything you want here, you just have to work hard to get noticed, to stand out from the crowd.
I think it's been more than a little depressing to me that my bachelor's degree, a nine-year endeavor, all things considered, just acquired last Spring, my only real goal besides raising healthy children for the past like, third of my life, is turning out to be a little less than worthless. Here's my rationale for that statement: if it doesn't net you a job, and it costs a shitton to acheive in loans, then is it a net gain or loss to have one if it doesn't net you a higher-paying job after you graduate?
Fuck it man. Megan's been looking into ownership options, dawg. A condo or a small house. Because fuck rent here. We have a lot of space here, but we're paying twice as much for it as we would in Michigan (not Ann Arbor, though, my old haunt, college-town-with-$$$-like-Seattle). Anyway, who wants to be throwing money down an endless pit, month after month? Ownership is where it's at when you've got family.
The American Dream is available. I believe if you work hard enough at it, it can be achieved. So now I'm done typing, you pricks, thank you for reading. I love you all. Back to the job search, the marketing-of-self, the bastardization-of-life-and-love. I dream of rock star life, doing what I'm really good at, making money and travelling everywhere and having pictures taken of me a lot and then starring in a film I have no business being in.
Again, I love you all. Sincerely. My parents taught me this love. Thank them. My dad gave me the razor's edge, and my mom gave me my passion. Sometimes those two fuse together into me being a dick, but inside my brain, when I consider those I know and those around me, those who've come before me and all those will follow, I'm filled with love, not hatred, not anything negative, but a definite warming feeling. Having kids helped, but I believe I've always been this way. A lover, not a fighter.
Though I do love fighting movies. Just watched the third Universal Soldier movie last night. That shit was tight. Modern action movie.
Hey, lookathat, Lucy just turned off the tv!
2013-10-09
Stills 2
Hey everyone, I just found some Photobooth pics of my girls that I'd like to share. The first few are from last February. Then April, then September. I took more this a.m. and tacked four of them onto the end.
Enjoy
Enjoy
2013-10-01
I just wanna hug you all! ... but I'm not gonna
I'd like to go and not fully retract but alter my statement from the last blog post and say that bedtime doesn't always suck. It's part and parcel of parenting and I should lap it up like milk.
Plus when you split the duties up with your partner, it's not so bad. I brushed two kids' teeth last night and it was easy sleazy cause mama took care of their pjs. Then I read them a whole High Five magazine with energy and emphasis and got them some cold water. Mama filled in the gaps and I made a cocktail and we then watched Louie.
Life is good, ya know? There's always some kind of present stress, but there's also a constant silver lining. The balance. The balance must always be struffen for.
Guys, first of all, I love you. You're beautiful, and you're perfect.
I feel good today. My primary focus these last few months has been the job search. Nothing yet, but I do have some promising leads.
Just this morning I turned in a 400-word piece on light microscopes for a certain sciencey place that needs a communications intern. That thing took me about three days to write, which sounds like a lot, but I guess I have a pretty full plate lately. Two bands, two kids, a house that needs cleaning, a wife to kiss and hug, email to clear out from the democrats cause the republicans are shutting it all down ... I'm swamped. Plus I knew nothing and I had to read and research and now I know how they work and their parts and their history and pretty much all the basic stuff about optical or light microscopes.
So I threw a conclusion on it all and emailed it in and now I feel good, like I can breathe deeply, relax, feel happy, play some Smash Brothers, and wait till this afternoon when ...
I make good on a phone call date with a reputable blog owner about what could be a very, very cool journalism internship. More to follow.
Additionally, two temp agencies are keeping an eye out for me. Both have come up with absolutely nothing, but one of the two is actively trying. I've got one contact at each place, see? And the active one is a parent like me, but with two boys who are older. She understands me and the situation I'm in, and she's nice and I like her. She sees that I'm not a suit-wearing, clean-shaven type of office nerd, ... which is what she hires for, which could explain the lull ....
She called me just yesterday with a job offer for a 10-day gig downtown from 8-5. I mean, if it was full-time and paid well, I'd take it. But that's the kind of stuff she's got.
I've also got an application and resume in at a swanky downtown restaurant (where a friend of mine works) that I plan on calling right around the same time I call blog guy. That's my day today.
Oh yeah, and band practice after Megan gets home at 5.
My girls are bickering now about what Pingu says. Complete insanity. I just had to take the smiling spoon sword away from Lucy and make her tell me she wouldn't hit BB again with it.
I take my leave. I love you all. Never forget that you're perfect.
Plus when you split the duties up with your partner, it's not so bad. I brushed two kids' teeth last night and it was easy sleazy cause mama took care of their pjs. Then I read them a whole High Five magazine with energy and emphasis and got them some cold water. Mama filled in the gaps and I made a cocktail and we then watched Louie.
Life is good, ya know? There's always some kind of present stress, but there's also a constant silver lining. The balance. The balance must always be struffen for.
Guys, first of all, I love you. You're beautiful, and you're perfect.
I feel good today. My primary focus these last few months has been the job search. Nothing yet, but I do have some promising leads.
Just this morning I turned in a 400-word piece on light microscopes for a certain sciencey place that needs a communications intern. That thing took me about three days to write, which sounds like a lot, but I guess I have a pretty full plate lately. Two bands, two kids, a house that needs cleaning, a wife to kiss and hug, email to clear out from the democrats cause the republicans are shutting it all down ... I'm swamped. Plus I knew nothing and I had to read and research and now I know how they work and their parts and their history and pretty much all the basic stuff about optical or light microscopes.
So I threw a conclusion on it all and emailed it in and now I feel good, like I can breathe deeply, relax, feel happy, play some Smash Brothers, and wait till this afternoon when ...
I make good on a phone call date with a reputable blog owner about what could be a very, very cool journalism internship. More to follow.
Additionally, two temp agencies are keeping an eye out for me. Both have come up with absolutely nothing, but one of the two is actively trying. I've got one contact at each place, see? And the active one is a parent like me, but with two boys who are older. She understands me and the situation I'm in, and she's nice and I like her. She sees that I'm not a suit-wearing, clean-shaven type of office nerd, ... which is what she hires for, which could explain the lull ....
She called me just yesterday with a job offer for a 10-day gig downtown from 8-5. I mean, if it was full-time and paid well, I'd take it. But that's the kind of stuff she's got.
I've also got an application and resume in at a swanky downtown restaurant (where a friend of mine works) that I plan on calling right around the same time I call blog guy. That's my day today.
Oh yeah, and band practice after Megan gets home at 5.
My girls are bickering now about what Pingu says. Complete insanity. I just had to take the smiling spoon sword away from Lucy and make her tell me she wouldn't hit BB again with it.
I take my leave. I love you all. Never forget that you're perfect.
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| All stills from this a.m. |
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