Total Pageviews


Video games, bedtime

Since Grand Theft Auto V is gonna be out soon-ish, I've taken to playing GTAIV just to make sure I'm all done with it beforehand, and to extremely dork out.

And just so you know, people, that almost every time I turn on the video games, I think to myself, " ... isn't there some chore you should be doing? Don't you have to get your kids into daycare?" And I feel like a piece of shit every time, but then I see the colorful lights, hear the cool music, and smell the smells of these new, graphically awwwwesome games I'm playing lately, and I think to myself, "You need some time to yourself. Turn your brain off."

The excuse holds thin. Time for myself to do what? Waste time? My finite life fades away while I play video games. What if we got rid of our tv... huh yeah right. Someday I'll get older and re-evaluate my responsibilities vis a vis pursuing entertainment.

So anyway, yeah I just stayed up a half hour too late doing that one mission on GTAIV where you kill about 50 guys in a warehouse, taking like 12 or so bullets to random parts of the body, blowing dudes' heads off and shit, & hiding behind stuff before making the ol' break for it. All to steal some kingpin's drug money. You know that one?

GTAV is going to rule. The Grand Theft Auto series has been around longer than I've been playing it, but I'm in love with the games since then. I don't really dig Vice City. Too primitive for me now.

I started with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It's a fairly recent installment in the series, for PS2. You play this gangsta dude named Carl, and you go around killing dudes and taking like a thousand bullets to all parts of the body. For some mob boss's drug money.

It's the most violent bloody fucking game I'll ever play.. oh yeah except for Resident Evil... Resident Evil 6 comes out soon...

No bother! I always stick to Skyrim and The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword when the kids are awake. Skyrim's borderline too violent for the kids, but much of it is talking to people and improving your character and making weapons and building up skills--really boring stuff. Kids want nothing to do with it. THEY CAN'T EVEN READ and anyway half the enemies aren't human.

Where was I going with this... you ever go into your kids' room at night before you go to bed, and instead of just checking on them real fast and going to bed, you stay for a minute, and kneel down and really look at your kid? I did that tonight. Felt this intense love for her. Put my hand on her back. Thought, "I really hope I'm not fucking this kid up."

I don't want her to have my neuroses, but I she's going to.

It's almost like you can't stop yourself. There's nothing you can do sometimes to stop acting like who you truly are, neuroses and all, in front of your kids--which they emulate and copy. It's a vicious cycle, the passing of negative qualities from one generation to the next. Of course, the positives are spread too. I can't forget that.


Bad Home Smell ... and the neighbors are complaining like dicks

But first, area man Green Meanswallow explains why Facebook sux now

Because I abuse it. I keep scrolling down thru the updates I've already seen. Yesterday I caught myself at it more than once in the same minute. There was nothing new on there, and it occurred to me, as I was doing it, that I didn't know why I was doing it. It was mindless.

Facebook friends:
Be prolific, will ya? Do I have to do it? I mean, just post whatever's the top entry on the front page of the Internet. I mean, Reddit.

Switching gears here, I gotta say, I'm all done with my business on the john, but I just don't want to get up. I'm perfectly happy. Sure, it leaves a red ring on my ass, but that's livable. I don't have any responsibilities in here!

Changing subjects, my house has smelt like nail polish for a week.

Well, it's not my house, and the smell was floor polish, and it was for like five days.

Now forgive me if I don't sit in the living room and watch Curious George with my kids as I write this, but I gotta say, it's tough when these particular circumstances affect one:
  • Noxious floor finish smell in your private living space
  • You're at home with your kids
  • It's too cold to go outside
  • It's August
The reason the floors are getting re-finished is so that my family can move downstairs to the larger apartment. In all, not much to complain about.

It's simply been a bit of a to-do this last week dealing with this obnoxious, harmful smell slowly wafting in through our floor.

Sometimes the smell was so bad in the pantry I had to hold my breath. I'd be going in to get something, and breathing in would actually cause a physical sensation. It was a sort of a light burning, inside my face. To the tune of nail polish.

Unpleasant. A haiku:

All the fans blowing
Maintaining consistent wind
Repels finish stink

The kids' closet, which has no door, has been a great ventilation space, apparently. Every night before I go to bed at about 11, I open their door for the night and check to see if they're ok. About three or four nights in a row, their room stank fairly hard. And with a window open and a fan going!

But as I write this, the smell seems to be gone for good. I hope those jokers at D.J.'s Hard Wood or whatever are done putting varnish coats on.

I swear, at some points, they would come by real quick at odd times in the day, like in the evening close to the kids' bedtime, paint but a section of the floorspace, and then bolt!, closing and locking the doors behind them, allowing the smell to brew really nicely down there, like a thousand girls doing their nails at once and they all spilled it all over the floor.

Oh, and when I'd go downstairs to practice guitar, the whole consarn basement would stink. And two of the windows down there don't open without a fight, but luckily the one in my studio opens without a hitch. I actually broke a pane of glass in the thing recently, and had to get it replaced. Cost me like $148.

D.J. said the whole project would take three days, and that the smell wouldn't be harmful to us up here. HOWEVER, like all large-scale housing projects put into the hands of small-time companies, and not to mention set in the historic location in a century-old house, it took longer than estimated. I should expect this by now.

BUT!-- The smell is gone. And that makes me much happier because it's cold and windy out today, like in the high 50s, and I want those consarn windows closed.

Here's a picture from today:


Long lede and 1st graf, needs error correction

Totally recorded a video yesterday of me doing cool stuff, and was gonna edit it in iMovie, then I couldn't figure out how to work iMovie, then I had to do all this other stuff, then I had to do a bunch of other stuff, cause the car broke, but when the tow guy came he fixed it right there, then I had to go to the hardware store to replace my neighbor's shears I broke yesterday, then him and I started cutting up the pile of branches I cut off that he let me just put on his lawn cause it was recycling day the next day and his bin was full, then I got too carried away with the clipping and got rid of most of this big, dead bush in my front yard, then it was eight o'clock and I had to come in to help put the kids to bed, then I was tired and internetted for the rest of the night, then it was bed time, but I didn't go to bed on time because I found this blog entry, written by the wife of a classmate of mine from The City Collegian.

Now, it's nine o'clock a.m., the video is still open in iMovie, I still want to cut a few parts out of it, and I'm on my second cup of coffee, piping hot fresh in the $1 blue cup that I got from the grocery store that had a generic name like "Savings Mart Land" and now has an even more generic name, like, "The Store," in Bellingham, at the intersection of ...Lincoln and ... up the street from Lincoln Creek, and now I have to shave my face cause I'm sorta getting this weird red rash under the hair on the bottom of my neck and it's really itchy and it's time to fucking shave it, though I hate shaving.

Lucy's exact words to me, just now: "Do I need a nectarine? I need a appwe."

"Appwe. I want da appwe."

You know, when I spell out phoenetically what she says like that, it makes her seem a lot younger. Sometimes I take for granted that she doesn't speak in complete sentences, use grammar, or pronounce words correctly, cause we just have this mind-meld going on. I understand her. People come over, and when they hear babble, I hear a person trying to communicate and be understood and join the adult conversation. What's more, I understand her perfectly. It's not babble to me, it's a person trying to talk. Same with BB, even though all the says is different inflections of the word, "Da." But last night she started with, "Mamamamama" and other cute variations of other sounds.

Now I have to go shave and take them outside bye


Switching Imminent

Well, I don't know if my landlord reads my blog, or if things just came together coincidentally, but we're slated to move two weeks from Wednesday (the 11th).

The day after I wrote that last blog entry, Megan and I got an email from our homeowner man downstairs. It said that work on the floors downstairs begins Wednesday, will take a week, and after that, the place must air out for another week.

Not bad, right? It's coming--we get a bigger place! Oh man, it means packing and all that headache, but we're gonna hire movers, and it'll only be within the same house. Not bad, I gotta say.

When Megan, Lucy and I moved in, our landlord was inhabiting the larger downstairs apartment. You've all seen pictures of my place. It's the upstairs of the house, a 2-bedroom, approximately 700-square-foot, brightly colored affair. Not small exactly, but with four people in here, space is at a premium.

Our landlord mentioned switching apartments a long time ago. It seemed logical to put the family of four in the bigger apartment than the bachelor.

He knew, though, that his century-old house would need a lot of tender, loving care before the switch could rightly occur.

Somewhere around one and a half years ago, he had a plumbing crew come in and re-do most of the house's plumbing. It began with our bathroom, then progressed to the whole downstairs. I mean, they knocked down walls down there. We had a couple small holes in our bathroom, but the work done up here was minor in comparison to the gutting that took place below us.

Our landlord knew that had to be done, in order to get the walls re-painted, in order to then re-finish the wood floors.

Kav has been putting a lot of work in down there. In the past month or more, he's had to move all his shit around, much into the garage and basement, and basically vacate his place in the meantime. It's gotta suck.

I'm sure he'll be glad when all this shit is done with. However, he's definitely gonna have to repair the rotting under the floor around the toilet up here, though, and the stairs outside aren't going to hold up forever. And the JUNK downstairs! The previous owner left a buttload of fuck down there. Just a bunch of fukkin doors, cabinets, pieces of wood, and rolled up nasty moldy rugs.

I KNOW I'm going to enjoy that double-basin sink down there, as well as the large dining room, which is separate from the larger kitchen and living rooms. And the ceiling fan in the bathroom and the ventilation fan in the kitchen. And the cupboards.

Moving will be a little hard on Lucy, I foresee. I think BB will be ok with it, but it's gonna be weird getting them used to the idea that, though we still live in the same house, we don't go into the same place anymore. We just go in the downstairs door now.

Kinda creepy, in a way.

I'm sure the increased size will grow on her, though. Imagine the toy-strewing-about possibilities.


I need an office

It just hit me. I need an office.

I need a brown office with a brown leather chair, brown desk, dark hardwood polished mahogany floors, bookshelves detailing my intellect, pictures detailing the happiness of my family, where I beat and/or molest my sons with my belt.

No, seriously, I need a place to not have to be around Lucy while she's playing Zelda. It's the sensory overload that kids love--the sights, the sounds--that's turning me off.

It's bright lights and bright colors, and there's a sound for everything. Link is yelling, shit is blowing up, monsters are electrifying themselves audibly and they roll at link with giant hard carapaces that sound like dirt bikes, and Lucy has taken to pushing the Wii's home button to pause the game and freeze the action about ten times per minute, sometimes rapid-fire five or six times in three seconds, and of course it makes a nice little menu sound every fucking time. Even with the tv volume turned down to 5, it's like bleach pouring into my ears.

So where do I go? To avoid constant distraction from all adult thinking, I need a separate room. And right now in my apartment, there are three rooms available to me, that aren't the living room. One is my room, with the bed, and not the comfy couch. Another is the kitchen, with a hardwood table and hardwood chairs, and not the comfy couch. The third is the bathroom.

You see my dilemma? BB is finally sleeping, I took the kids outside today, got them dressed and fed, and .. gosh ... darnit... if this fucking game doesn't beep constantly when the player is down on hearts. I was a good dad today, and I deserve a little break.

Also, Lucy deserves a little time to do something she loves. This is exactly what she wants to do right now and she's happy, and it's not filled with advertisements, or even characters that talk at you and don't encourage reaction.

I was thinking about putting on headphones, but that requires sound directly in my ears, and I'd rather just have less sound, overall. And it involves me getting up. And I'm tired. And I don't want to have to get up to do one more thing. But fuck dude, this job of mine is right at home, and I've gotta do it. I've gotta do it.
My landlord is DRAGGING HIS FUCKING FEET with moving us out of here. See, we're waiting on him to get the flooring re-done downstairs, so we can switch apartments in this big, century-old duplex house we share. He's got the bigger place downstairs, and wants to switch with us. He's never frickin home, so it seems like it would be good for all of us.

I dunno. Maybe it's time to move. Again. We've been in this place for three years. That's not that long. Can't we stay here a little longer? This waiting is driving me nuts. My best bet is to wait it out, and get the awesome apartment downstairs with a double basin sink and fucking twice the space as this place. I want it I want it I want it.

Landlord said he'd have us down there by MARCH. Criminy. The waiting. The waiting. The waiting. The dwindling faith. The having to rely on others. The weighing of enslavement to rent wages versus the high price of home ownership. The lack of time and energy when one parent is stuck raising kids and the other is stuck at a full-time job. It's all so depressing.

We're lucky to have this place, it's in the middle of a much richer neighborhood than us. I mean, the people living around here are like, established, money-making, middle-aged parents who have their shit together and own houses with nice-looking yards. And Megan and I just rent this tiny little upstairs apartment in the middle of it all.

We've got a sweeeeet park right next to us, we live literally one block away from Megan's work, it's close to the U District, Capitol Hill and downtown, wi-fi is included in the rent ... it's too good to let go.

Looks like we're waiting! In the meantime, it would be great to have a room to go to to just have some quiet time. But I don't get that right now.

Holy shit, Lucy just made it somewhere on Zelda that I don't know how to get to, and it's all interesting, and I'm actually enthused about where it might go, and then ... "Can I play Mario 64?" sheepishly.

"Ok, honey."

Today at the park I got a phone call about a video internship in Woodinville. This lady lives up there, and she has two video bays in her home, and she makes documentaries. She's trying to put together a non-fiction film festival. She needs help putting some projects together in Final Cut Pro.

Tomorrow morning at 10, I'm gonna go over there and see what she's all about, and what kind of time commitment I'm looking at. And I gotta talk to my school to see if I can get credit for it.
Maybe not a brown office, but a studio... with the room divided with the control room on one side and the performance room on the other, and like a big ass couch and not two but three comfy chairs, and a big ass mixing board and like all this shit ...


Kid pictures

My first experimentation with Flickr. Looks pretty good to me.


Babies get the best tits.