Sharing a Black Voice: Phil Bouie

I'm Facebook friends with a guy named Phil, and he posted the following today. He gave me permission to share it, so without further ado, I give you Phil Bouie:

If people just took the time to listen, we wouldn't be in this situation as a country right now.

Ya'll can say what you want, but the point is: You're not black. You don't know.

You don't know what it's like for folks like me in this country. You don't. Instead you hypothesize, you use conjecture, you try and relate your own experiences (as non-black people) to folks like me and you can't. When women talk to me about the hardships they face strictly because of their gender, I don't counter their remarks by saying, "This is what's it like for me as a black guy." No, that's not how dialogue works. And if you think that's the way to have a productive conversation, you're a total [something].

Being black in America is like a being in a quasi abusive relationship. On an almost daily basis we have to process messaging that reinforces the idea that we're less than. In the Information Age, I would argue this is a daily thing. And that's something most of you can't understand. We're constantly told what's wrong with us. It can be large, meaningful things or it can be trivial nonsense. 

For instance, I ask people all the time, what do think of when you see a fire hydrant? For most of you, it's the fire department or a firefighter. Do you know what I think of first? Black people getting sprayed with firehoses during the civil rights movement...and I fucking wasn't even alive then! That's imagery I internalized as a kid and have carried with me into adulthood. That's not taught. My parents didn't do that. Other black people have different triggers. We all have them though, and if you think we don't, you're naive. The first time I saw Emmett Till's battered face in an open casket, I wasn't even his age. You don't forget shit like that. You don't. You can't even if you tried. And if you're like, "That was over fifty years ago!" What, you think a black man in 2015 can't end up at the bottom of a lake for being attracted to someone outside of his race? You're naive as hell.

And the media only reinforces these images and messages on a 24-hour loop. People that look like me and express themselves in a childish, violent manner are "thugs." Fair enough. Looting is stupid. I don't agree with it at all. The problem is, people don't limit that perspective to 50-100 black people in inner city Baltimore. Nope, suddenly those handful of people become the entire representation of my race! What the fuck is that!? And then some talking head on the news will ask Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg or other prominent black person who isn't even educated, "What the hell is up with your people?" Those motherfuckers don't speak for us. Why didn't anyone ask Toby Keith or Rush Limbaugh what "white people" are going to do after the Aurora movie Mass Shooting? Nobody asked Courtney Love what to do in response to the elementary school shooting in Newtown. People who aren't black listen to the thoughts and words of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson more than we do. I can't tell you how many times I see a sarcastic article like, "Black teens film kid getting beat down. WHERE'S AL SHARPTON!?"

Fuck Al Sharpton. He's an opportunist parasite. Who cares.

And once again, peaceful protests would be ideal but it's not realistic. Pop quiz hotshot, name one modern black leader who hasn't been killed or smeared by the federal government or American culture? You can't. 

1) Because you don't know any (thanks education system).
2) Many of them were killed or put in prison. 

Obama isn't a "black leader," he's the "leader of this country." Everyone wants to talk about MLK Jr. The truth is, if we had another MLK Jr., that guy would end up dead. Someone would kill that guy. True story. 

Others have different solutions outside of peaceful protests. "Well, if they had a two parent household..." Last time I checked, America has a divorce rate of approximately 50% regardless of race. Second, because we house roughly 1/5 of the WORLD'S INCARCERATED POPULATION in our own prisons, you can guess where dear old dad is at. And it isn't as simple as saying, "Well, if they obeyed the law, it wouldn't happen." Black folks can get harassed and locked up just for being around. True story. All it takes is a phone call from "a concerned citizens" (read: someone who is scared or unwilling to communicate with a black person) and that's it, you're done. Either you're cuffed or your shot. Maybe both. Whatever. 

You attend school, many of your teachers think you're stupid or lazy. You play sports, people assume that's your sole purpose on this Earth. You walk into just about any department store, everyone thinks you're there to steal. You speak correct English, people wonder why you're "acting white." 

Obviously people like me are just here to rap, tell jokes and provide ya'll with drugs. That's mostly what I've internalized my 32 years on this Earth. 

Something as small as crossing the street is more difficult for people like me than it is for most of you. Don't believe me? Look it up. Black folks have known this for years, but they had to conduct a "study" on it anyway. 

People like me have to prove we're not something (insert hundreds of years of stereotyping) before we get the opportunity to prove we are something. We get no benefit of the doubt. Zero. 

People like to speak on the power of the individual in America. You know, work hard and make something of yourself. The American Dream. That's fine and dandy. But when you have outside forces constantly telling you that you are shit, that's not so easy to do. Have you ever been verbally abused by someone on a regular basis? How productive are you in situations like that? As a young black boy, you have no worries (if you're lucky). As soon as you get to adolescence, that shit is over. You're now a potential threat to society and it happens almost overnight. 

I'm an exception. I've had it better than 99% of the Black Americans in this country. And if this is how I feel, you can't even imagine how black people in Baltimore and other impoverished areas feel. You won't find a word intense enough in the English language. 

Stop pretending that you know and just listen for once. 

(And yeah, I know black folks have a lot fucked up issues that "we" don't address. Glorifying the wrong things, materialism, misogyny, homophobia, blinded by religion, a lack of self-respect, not enough of an emphasis on becoming better educated, etc. If you want a rant on all that bullshit, I'd be happy to give you one...next week or something.)

I found this poignant. This is an important piece. Phil kind of encapsulates the entire black experience. You can feel his rage and the years of punishment coming through to the surface, but he keeps it in check. I know not everyone will agree with him, but as a white man, I feel it's important to recognize and share black experiences.

I know I've never done that on this blog before, but Phil inspired me today. He did the majority of the work, too.

Phil's one of the more expressive guys on my FB feed, and his posts are usually defiantly lengthy, and somehow both passionate, and measured. This one I thought was particularly good. It inspires me.

I guess now's the time for me to make some grande statement about what it's like to be white, but that's not interesting. That doesn't help anybody. Being white is way too easy. Refusing to conform to norms, however—that's difficult for everyone.

Someday I'm going to have to cut my hair off. I know. But I'm a rock star, you're all just going to have to accept that. And the harder minorities have to fight for equality, the easier it is for me to pipe in, from my hiding place over in the corner of the room, my little mouse voice going, "Yeah! And I don't have to be like all the other white men with short hair!"