Don't sit on lions

We've sort of adopted this neighborhood cat. Well, really, we just added to her roster of houses she can go to for food and shelter.

Smokey is her name. She exists within the neighborhood. One of my neighbors says she belongs to someone around here, but no one has actually stepped forward to claim ownership.

Meanwhile, Smokey continues to show up at our house, sitting right outside the front door, her little grey head poking up thru the low windows.

She's a nice cat. She handles my children very well.

My children do not handle her well.

She maintains her distance from them--she knows BB is absolutely not to be trusted, the kid has NO rhythm. Just runs up to Smokey, squeals really loud, hugest smile ever on her face, and starts to pat-smack her, open-palmed. Sometimes she'll attempt to rub Smokey's back, but it's a sweaty, sticky baby hand, open-palmed, too rough, too fast, and not in a wide enough arc.

So a couple times Smokey "Reeaaarrroowww"-ed at her, and BB maintains a safer distance now. She definitely learned a lesson--her behavior around Smokey is now more respectful--and I didn't have to do anything but watch. Thank you, Shadowcat.

Lucy is completely skittish around her, more skittish than the cat herself, but she LOVES Smokey. She really wants the cat to come inside all the time, but when she is, she runs away from her and will never try to pet her. She'll creep up behind her, touch her really quick, and then run away.

But she's getting to know the kids, as I saw the cutest evidence of today.

I had let her in, well actually I picked her up, put her in the house, and shut the door, cause she'll never come in and stay in unless extremely tempted or carried. She was laying on the carpet.

BB comes over, pounding the ground as she walked with her unsteady baby bow legs holding up her gigantic frame, big curly mop of blonde hair, smiling with huge dimples, laughing and squealing.

Walking right up to her, she kind of turns around and falls down on her butt, so that she's sitting with her back facing the kitty. She couldn't have landed any closer the cat, and I got really worried.

When I was a kid, my dog bit a neighbor kid when the kid fell on, or was fucking with, him. No one saw what happened, and I forget the details. Anyway, kid got a hole in his cheek for it, had to get stitches in his face. My dog felt terrible.

So back to today, BB walks over, falls on her ass like a lush, right next to what might as well be a lion to her. The image flashing in my mind is one of a kitty getting sat on, maybe getting a few bruised ribs or something, jumping up and biting a hole in BB's face.

I yelled at her, not like at the top of my lungs, but as a parent does when a child is putting itself in mortal danger out of pure immaturity. I wanted to  smack the shit out of that kid, totally getting enraged and experiencing that physiological parental experience of 'Oh shit I have got to do something like now or my precious baby is gonna die.'

The parent has to make sure the baby's not gonna do it again, so you're trying to teach and tell her that it's not okay to do whatever she just did, while experiencing the most intense version of five different emotions.

Suffice to say, the words never come out right.

What I actually did was drag BB away from the cat and loudly chastise her. "No, BB! You don't sit on lions!" or something to that effect.

BB begins to cry. So what does our unharmed friend Smokey do? She was just laying there the whole time, mind you. She gets up and starts rubbing her ears against BB's bare foot!

All that negativity just sorta melted away, and I got all apologetic, and started telling BB that the cat still likes her, it's okay, dada got too mad, dada's sorry, etc.

BB had to cry for a little longer, cause she of course didn't mean to do anything out of the ordinary. In her mind, all she did was come over to see this beautiful animal who's totally new and exciting to her, and get a slice of happiness out of life, and then she gets yelled at.

Injustice.

So she had to cry it out. Smokey and I continued to console her, and then Smokey walked away, BB got up to follow her, and I was a hands-off dad.

Smokey doesn't like to stay inside for long, though. I have to entice or carry her in, and then she just wants out after like one minute. I think she's stayed inside for 15 minutes, maximum. She likes the outside! Probably catches a bunch of bugs when she's out there.

I went into the fridge to get some milk for her--outta milk. Eggs? Outta eggs. Tuna for Smokey again. I cut up a little cheese and put that in with the tuna, and gave her a little dish of water too.

So I'm taking these kids to the store, I'm not proof-reading this entry, adn I'm clicking "Publish." Have a nice day, I know I will.

Thanks for reading. I love you.