Eating and typing

Mm, leftover pasta with asparagus and shrimp meat, those little curly shrimp guys, with garlic and onions, cold, with a warmed up and buttered mini baguette. F yeah.

Speaking of which, oh man I had the worst shart this morning. I was just sitting here, on the couch, enjoying my no-longer-virus-infected computer, drinking coffee and loving it. Lucy was eating in the kitchen. I was reading about my deceased ex-science professor at SCCC, and all of a sudden--shart! Oh man. Immediately I was like, "ok Lucy, dada's gotta go to the bathroom."

Once a friend told me, "My dad always said, 'Don't trust farts. If it feels hot, don't trust it.'" Sage advice.

I waddled over to the bathroom, and took care of the damage. Gross.

Then! Another weird poop thing. I was changing Lucy's diaper and she had this stringy thing sticking out of her rectum. I had to pull it out, like one might do with a dog that ate dental floss.

See, when you become a dada, or a mama, you become used to excrement. It's not a big deal once you have a kid, because you have no choice but to make it a small deal. Allow me some extrapolation text space.

Making poop a big deal when you have a child makes both the child and the parent maladjusted to it. For the parent, if it's a big deal to ya, you're gonna go insane every time you have to change a diaper. Especially when that baby stops eating nothing but breast milk (if you're smart and breast feed instead of using solely formula), and the poop starts taking on more adult qualities (STANK NASTY).

For the kid, if you make it a big deal, in the words of Louis C.K., "You're gonna fuck em up about their shit!" In other words, say hello to poop disorders later in life. Then your kid's gonna curse you the rest of their life.

You can turn your head away, you can turn a fan on to blow the stink away from your nose, but you can't say, "Eww, gross," or whatever. While poop's not pleasant, it is an inescapable part of life and we all have to deal with it. We've all got our own ass wiping techniques, and we don't share them with other people, but we're all awesome at it. And whenever you wipe your own ass, do you ever think, "JEsus! EUK!" ? No, you just avoid looking at it too much and flush it away and WASH YOUR GODDAM HANDS.

Robert Habershan, I miss you man. You touched thousands of lives with your natural, gentle way of explaining the fascinating universe beyond our small globe. Memorial service at Seattle Central, Tuesday the 17th at 2:00 pm, SAM building study lounge.