BB sleeps... for now

So of course I'm neglecting my household dadly duties by writing this, duties which can all be summarized by the word "cleaning," but I want to talk a little about BB's sleeping patterns, as compared to Lucy's at that age.

BB will be four months old in four days. Her cuteness has hit its all-time peak, and it's only looking like it's going to continue peaking. She's lost that newborn look and is into full on baby. What do you call the stage between newborn and toddler? Is it baby? That's where she is now and it's way too cute.

She's sleeping now in the room. Putting her down is mostly the same as it was putting Lucy down at four months, except I'm doing it slightly differently. My methods may seem cruel to some--I tend to leave her alone and let her fall asleep by herself. Lately, though, I've stayed with her as she fell asleep. Like today. Well, kind of.

Her naps aren't fitting an exact, rigid schedule, nor do I want to shape them into one, but she mostly takes three naps a day. Two at minimum. Yesterday and today she woke up after 7:30, which is very nice for me as it allows me time to get my coffee going and tend to Lucy, who is always up by 7. This morning she was just outside my bedroom doors (which I can see thru--French doors with windows), playing with her pink bear, talking to herself like she always does. She's very, very vocal, which I like (save for some small instances here and there), and I think she was using her voice to wake me. It worked.

It's always weird to wake up and see BB sleeping in the bed next to me. Once I woke and stretched and, in putting my arms back down, brushed/bumped her forehead with my elbow. She didn't wake up, though. Just stirred. Sometimes she wakes, smiles at me, shakes her head around a little, and then goes back to sleep. Today she was there in bed, as Megan had left her there with me when she went to work. Probably smart--BB tends to wake up when being transferred from bed to crib.

Okay! Where am I going with this. BB is a good sleeper--that's my point. And for this, I count my lucky stars every day. Her digestion issues are lessening, but not disappearing. She still urps up all the time, but it's always in smaller and smaller amounts. I still get puked on at least three times a day, though. It just doesn't tend to get our clothes soaking wet like it used to. This lessening of puking makes me hypothesize her tummy isn't trying to claw its way out of her so much, thereby letting her stay more comfortable and sleep deeper and for longer periods of time.

Today, and either yesterday or the day before, I stayed with her and held her hands as she closed her eyes and drifted away into sleep. My back was killing me as I have to bend over at about a 90 degree angle to do this--I rest my rib cage on the crib wall, sorta, and try to take as much stress off my back as I can. I used to do this every day with Lucy, during the day, when she was still sleeping in the crib (till about 1.5yrs). I'd feel so bad about her being alone that I'd stand there for anywhere from 2 to 25 minutes, depending on the day, and hold her hands as she fell asleep.

...if I only knew then what I know now.

For BB, most of the time I do everything the same by putting her in the crib and bestowing her with blankets and pacifier, and sort of standing there and talking to and looking at her, but usually at that point I leave the room and let her fall asleep alone. She always does, too. Sometimes it takes longer than others. Sometimes there's lots of crying, sometimes there's none.

I remember my dad, who is a therapist and understands these things, that the first three months of a child's life are huge in terms of development. They learn many instincts at that age, including trust. A child must trust her parent to be there when the fear and uncertainty take over, which is (I think) a lot for newborns and babies. I used to think that applied to naptime, too. NO MORE!

Kids also need to learn to trust themselves, and not to rely on their parents as crutches. So a kid who learns to fall asleep on its own is probably gonna be less scared of everyday realities, right?

For example, Lucy is terrified of bubbles. Saw it last night at a birthday party. She cowers from them. Who knows where that stems from.

The main reason I let BB fall asleep on her own, save for the few precious occasions I take the time to stay with her during the process, is because I don't have all the time in the world any more!

The end.