I'm inside my own head

Okay it's gonna take me probably about 6,000 times longer to write this than it did to think it...
...there, it's gone.
...it's back! Okay, I'm sitting here at the kitchen table with my laptop and this school folder and this cup of coffee and BB's sleeping and Lucy's watching Diego and it's 9:50 a.m. Lucy comes in here and talks to me and I'm more than happy to talk to her, surprisingly, to me. I don't know why. I think it's cause I was absorbed in my online dealings and she snapped me out of it and I my gear-shifting from concentrating mode to I'm happy to talk to my wonderful daughter mode was really sudden. My reflex with mental gear-shifts like this tells me to brace for discomfort, but this time I felt only joy, and because of it, a greater sense of self-control, because weathering mental storms like this has, just as suddenly as the gear-shift that inspired this epiphany occurred, become easier to control.

Okay, but that's not what I wanted to write. That's not the split-second thought I had. It lead up to it, though. The thought I had at the beginning of the writing of this entry containing bloggitude is ... not complicated, but the process by which I came to it is important; integral to its being. In an effort to explain briefly how I came upon it, let me say that (first) I realized (after my short conversation with Lucy) that this whole having-2-kidz thing is really time-consuming. Just with the menial, thoughtless tasks I have to do, like changing diapers and bottle feeding and junk, all my time in the morning (almost) is taken up. My day begins when BB wakes up (Lucy's much easier to take care of. Morning ritual: 1) two graham crackers and a cup of milk. 2) Make coffee/I'm done w/morning ritual.) This fact, seemingly obvious, was a little new to me.

It lead me to realize that, with skool starting on

It's now 12:46 p.m. I have completely lost that train of thought. Since the writings previous to this line, I have fed BB a bottle, put her down for another nap, and took a bath with Lucy. Now we're clean.

Okay. Here's the gist: babies keep me busy, but it's a good kind of busy, and it kind of keeps me happy. I have my study time clearly laid out for me, and everything, if my prediction is correct, will more or less fall into place.

Time for me to fill my growling belly.