Forgive me if I don't post in a while,

but the baby inside Megan is five days overdue. I don't feel like it. I'm sure I'll be in more of a mood to put up pictures of the new kid, AFTER I HAVE THE DAMN THING.

Megan must have a five-star womb.

Where's my baby, universe? Huh?

It's late and I'm inbed band falling asleep and I don't wanna type but man I'm gonna have a baby relaly ralaeyl soon and I'm sort of freaking otu and completely elated all at once. I go thru moments of pure joy and pure terror.

Mostly, I'm pretty even. The due date was yesterday, May 9. Now we're officially past due.

Megan is a goddam trooper. Thank the lord for the woman. At 40 weeks pregnant, she worked in the morning, and then took Lucy grocery shopping when I was at work at night. And I know she's not having an easy time of it.

But now I've got some time off work to look forward to, and I can concentrate completely on my family.

Kids shows don't always get it right

The Baby Einstein Company, LLC created an episode of their television program called Baby Shakespeare, World of Poetry. In it, (I think this is true) Baby Einstein creator Julie Aigner-Clark recites a poem by Robert Frost.

So since is this is one of only two Baby Einstein dvds she owns, I've seen it many times. And I never quite understood what Aigner-Clark was saying, and she says it really breathy and sensitively, making her words even harder to pick out. Over time I stopped caring, and after Lou had watched it fifty or so times, I stopped noticing.

Then one day last week, during our daily constitution, we walked over to Roosevelt High School. And by God, that poem is etched in stone on the ground as you reach the top of the steps to the front door, the south entrance off 66th. And I read that thing and it brought me to tears.

There's a reason that poem is powerful. Seeing it in that all-caps, old type font, not attached to a voice, made it much more real.

It then occurred to me that poetry is made to be read out loud. Poetry is meant to be recited by people, with their own voices and unique personalities. These differing characteristics lead to differing inflections. So you can't help having poetry be spun in a way the author may not have intended.

I shouldn't blame Aigner-Clark for making the poem boring for me, when in reality it's such a beautiful thing that its crafting is mesmerizing and it may have come down from some higher plane. But then you realize it was written by a guy, just a guy who liked writing. It's amazing.

Let me post this motherfucker right here.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Frost, 1923

Learning to speak, scary noises, validations, a tired beans

I'm trying an experiment right now. Lucy and I are outside on the front porch, hanging out. Not going for a walk, but not staying cooped up inside. We live on a busy street, so I can't let her go too far. Thus far, it has not been a problem. The neighbor next door is using his lawnmower and it's slightly freaking her out.

She's handling it sort of well, except she keeps looking more and more upset and it standing dutifully next to me, as I sit on this bench here. And constantly is saying, "Scary," "It's okay," "Scary noise," "noise," etc. She is really fearful of noises, especially the vacuum. And "hug," while she lays her head on my arm. Now she's climbing on the bench with me, still nervous, still talking, still parroting what I say, inaccurately, and I only get a chance to type little bursts between validations.

She needs lots of validation at this stage in her life. Learning to talk needs lots of reassurances.

To put it one way.

Much of the time I'm telling her when she says something correctly or incorrectly; other times she says, "Need help?" and I say, "What do you need help with?" and she grabs my hand for me to follow her. Or she actually says what she needs "help" with, and half the time it's not something I'm going to get my lazy ass off the couch for. And also, she's the only kid in this house (for the time being). She has no other good friends. I'm always hesitant to take her over to my friend Todd's daycare cooperative, cause we get sick every fucking time. It's total bullshit. I'm sick of getting sick, and I'm also sick of Lucy not having other kids to play with. So I don't know what to do. Thinking of exploring online ads for playdates. Is that sad?

Now we've gone inside, and mama has come home on her lunch break. Nonetheless, Lucy's mood is ruined. Also, she cries at her mother whenever she comes home. And I tell her not to, and then she cries for real, but she's faking it the whole time. I scare her when I tell her not to do stuff, and not in a yelling voice, but an authoritative one.

Which makes me laugh to myself and say, "Good."

Mama just said, "You crying now? Now that dada called you on your b.s.?"

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Also, today Lucy got ahold of a red pen and now she has red ink all around her mouth and part of her nose. I'm willing to bet a little of it got in her mouth, too. Just playing the odds.

Now she's sitting next to me on the couch, eating her pbj, and I get to rub her 39-weeks-pregnant belly, with an at-least-6-lb baby in there. Lucky me. That thing is really rolling around in there.

The 11 Best Video Game Cover Bands - SlobsofGaming - We Were a Gaming Site. The Best Gaming Site.

The 11 Best Video Game Cover Bands - SlobsofGaming - We Were a Gaming Site. The Best Gaming Site.

Def. check out Vomitron's Contra medley, ARMCANNON's Mega Man 2 medley, and The Minibosses' Super Mario Bros. 2 medley. All kickass and metal as fuck.

Of course, Uematsu and The Black Mages are always fucking sweet. And I've always loved the Neskimos.

I lay in bed .... Factor of 0

I lay in bed
A factor of one in my head
I just kissed my lady good night and nuzzled my face in her neck for a bit
And I also put the blankets back on Lucy and pulled her a bit farther from the edge o er bed
Work tonight was, as always, draining.
The Sunday night live music is always played well but it's not music I like

In fact now one of those songs are in my head
Tomorrow I wake up whevever Luvy wants to
th e eyes closeeeee
dude                      
Ok? Scary? What's scary?
She can say bastard, penis, vagina, mama, dada, fork, spoon, salt, eyes closed, squeeeeee!!!

Our Many Selves

Oh man this is too good. I'm burning some pictures of her onto a dvd so I can delete them from my computer. I came across this one.

Cavewoman Lucille Virginia Rose Smith

That's right. We gave our kids four names. Because three is not enough.

How many personalities do you go through in a day? How many versions of yourself do you play as to get through life's trials?

More than three. I figure a four-named kid can make a personality out of each of those names and assign one mood of theirs to that name. For example, perhaps Lucy can assign the nice part of herself to Rose. When Rose comes out, we're all happy and she smells flowery.

Or maybe she can use Rose to assign the insane part of herself. Who knows.

Three names is too boring. My family is royalty. Not because of our heritage, as traditional royalty is founded, but by our values.

Never thought I'd hear myself use the word values like that. But it's true. I am a true believer in 60% of what Rand says, and 100% in the tone of the delivery of that message.

You know, to change the subject, I think I'm going to like having Lucy around while the new baby is growing up. (due date = may 9)

Today and for the past few days she's been learning how to cry on demand. Oh man is she good at it. Today, ... well, let me paint you the scene:

She hit her head on the wall on the way into her room. I didn't see it at the moment of impact, but I saw it coming when I looked away, even though she was fully capable of not letting her head hit the wall. She loves to move and not look where she's moving. So fuck stopping her. No way. I'm not gonna lift one finger.

So I hear the thud, sure enough, and I say, from the couch, "Did you hit your head? Are you okay?" And she didn't answer, and went into her bedroom to put the toy away, and then she came back out to the couch, and THEN started crying. Yeah, she was saving that one up just for me. And I picked her up onto the couch with me and hugged her for like a minute and then put her down. She then wanted to lead me by the hand somewhere, cause she grabbed my finger gently and went, "Sah?"

"Why don't you pick up your books first?"

This begins the funny part. She starts putting her books away, but she's trying to put a big book on the small shelf, and she can't make it fit, and she starts crying. But she never stops trying to put the book where it won't fit. And I'm laughing as I type this. So here we have a toddler, with a bunch of butterfly clips in her hair and a ponytail in a cute dress, crying for all she's worth, bloody mercy, trying to put a book back on a shelf where it doesn't fit. It's hilarious to me!

Not because I like seeing her suffer, but because she's making herself suffer. For almost nothing. I just sat there on the couch. I told her she didn't have to cry. But she's at this point in her life where she's so excited to be able to say one word at a time that she just says, through sobs, "Cry!" Even hilariouser! Then she goes, "Baby!"

But she made the book fit, on top of the other books, and then, sobbing the whole time, she finished putting back all six books that were on the floor. Then I told her good job, nice work, that's my good little girl, and I'm thinking right now that maybe I shouldn't call her a little girl anymore, and then, after the big subtle hint, I thought it was probably time to put her down for a nap.

I love co-ops

Sickly dada mourns temporary loss of health

This cold is kicking my fucking ass. Motherfucking kicking my sorry ass.

I'm gonna have to call Joel today, the dreaded call he doesn't want to receive, and tell him he's probably gonna have to be the one to work for me tonight. He said he would do my Monday, but couldn't do Sunday, cause he had plans w/friends (something from my past, I vaguely recall being able to make plans...), but he would do Sunday if I got worse.

Well, here I am! Hi, I'm Worse.

See I only work Sun and Mon nights. I work part time cause I've got a full-time job at home, which is only about to get harder (May 9, come quick plz). I thought I would be able to get thru my shift tonight, what with how I felt yesterday at around 4 o'clock, but by early evening last night, I was done for. Kaput.

My entire body aches and I haven't gone anywhere or done anything for about two days. My head is killing me with all this sinus pressure from all the snot I'm constantly blowing out of my nose into these mercifully soft tissues. I have to have peppermint tea going at all times, cause it's the only thing that loosens up the drivel in my face. 

You know what did it? You know what gave me this Killer Kold? This:

I just wanted Little Lou to have a playdate! She had a good time, too. It's my friend Todd's daycare. It's not a legally recognized "DAY CARE FACILITY" as is defined by WA state, so he's running it as a Cooperative. I love Co-ops. Anyway, you get the same six kids together, five days a week, and they're bound to trade all their sick germs back and forth. They must have a gazillion immunities to a gazillion different strains of sickness.

Then you put Lucy and I into the mix, us softies, us two hermits who just pretty much stay home and go for a walk outside around our neighborhood every day, us two who don't interact with other kids too much, us two with almost NO immunities, and we're bound to get sick. It's hitting me harder than Lucy. She's been a little snotty, but not like dada. Oh, no. Not like this.

A great idea for a show

MST3K-Style!!!

So, perhaps this would be one episode of a larger thing, or just one thing in itself, 

but here's the premise:

Megan and Lucy and I, left-to-right, are the shadows in front of the screen, and we're watching 24. And it would start out with us all sitting there, uniform.

But that would only last 5 seconds cause Lucy, in her can't-sit-still fashion, would get up and run around and grab books and say stuff, play with her toy phone, and Megan and I will make fun of 24 in the meantime.

It's gonna be huge. Mostly because 24 is subtlety-free and SO EASY to mock. I mean, they just leave themselves wide open for it the whole time.

(we're on season 4, I love Chloe)

Blathering I: Forks and Birthdays

How dull can you make a toddler fork? You make that thing too dull and rounded and it works better as a spoon. I guess my kid's better about not stabbing herself with silverware than other kids. That's probably why there are also real toddler forks that are sharp, and a parent can choose what fork to give their kid. Choices, choices. To stab, or not to stab oneself's eye? We have one dull, colorful fork, and two no-nonsense, silver, sharp forks. We're all fans of the later in this house.

In other news, my brother Ian came down to Seattle from the northern land of Bellingham. He dropped off many fine musics for our many birthdays in a row. Not only did he bring me three metal cds to rip, he bought Megan and I four non-metal records for our birthdays. He also got Lucy four Hot Wheels cars, but he didn't seem to be satisfied with the New Toy effect they had on Lucy. Even though she played with them a lot that night.

He's probably feeling a version of what all parents feel when a kid is disappointed with a new toy you gave them.

See, in our house we've got four birthdays, four months in a row:
Feb 27: me
March 11: Lucy
April 28: Megatron
May 9 (tentatively): Whoever that is in there.

I used to say that Lucy has usurped my birthday, cause it's so close to mine, but if our second kid is born on time, Megan's birthday will be even more usurped. There are 12 days between mine and Lucy's birthdays, but there will tentatively be 11 between Megan's and new baby's.

If that's the case, I'll be making lots of jokes about how Megan's womb must be more comfortable than most, cause neither baby wanted to leave it on time. However funny those jokes happen to be remains to be seen.

Family visits are cool.

Here are three pictures of Lucy doing what she does best from last week at Sandpoint Park, right next to the dog park.