Time is even more running out to choose a name

I caught myself daydreaming of naming my little girl Alice and calling her Alleybee, Bee, Allie, Alley Dweller, Alley Walker, and then it hit me--what if that thing's a boy?

Any other parents care to share a story of when you found out the sex of your baby? Did you do it before birth? How did you react when you found out? Megan and I are letting the new baby's sex be a surprise. The due date is May 9.

Lucille was a surprise, too. We were pretty sure it was a boy, what with her turning upside down in the womb and making Megan have a c-section and giving us all this trouble and all. Cause, you know, boys are trouble. Or so the stereotype goes. And girls are made of sugar, right? Well, it was a funny joke, at least--calling the foetus a boy because it was already being naughty.

I don't know why I think I'm having a girl. Maybe I'm secretly hoping for one. And before I thought I was secretly hoping for a boy. Since Lululu and I had a playdate yesterday with lots of kids and I got to hold and bottlefeed a baby boy, and then play with a boy toddler who was walking with only a week or so of practice and give him pieces of my fish sticks, I realized I'd be okay with either one. Girls and boys are both beautiful and cool and interesting as hell.

Plus it will be a baby with a combination of Megan and mine's looks. I mean, look how Lucy turned out.

Gosh, Megan's belly is sticking out far. She's carrying a huge weight, and deserves commendation. So if any of you are Facebook friends with her, give her an extra shout out and ask her how she's doing. Because, you may not realize it, but people say things to pregnant women that are helpful in a negative amount all the time.

I need a fucking haircut. I'm sick of sitting and leaning on my hair and pulling it all the time. Goddam awesome long hair. It gets too awesome, I guess.

So I've got to start narrowing down a boy name. I'm gonna trudge thru some ... shudder... ugh... parenting-themed internet pages... kill me now.

I asked Ghhouughhool Krome "what should I name my baby boy?" and these three pages came up:

1. Gag me. I'm not exclaiming "Help!" And also, I'm not female and don't think like one. A skimming is all you need to get the idea from this idiotically written article, extended way beyond the point of being interesting and structured in an I-need-help-reading-good format.

2. Scary. Pictures next to every name, professionally taken. They make me not want to have kids. And I love parenting! All white babies, too.

3. A fucking quiz? Am I twelve years old?

The internet must be full of idiots who seriously ask those questions every day. Thanx Ghoughoul Crome. Time to look for baby name lists. Yes. Edit this search. Plz.