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2011-07-25

Parents on Facebook

Don't let this happen to you! 
De-friend your parents on Facebook before it's 
TOO LATE!!!

First, this will happen! (skip to the end, sorry about white-on-light-blue formatting):


  • Glenn Smith
    So Lucy is starting to hit. Any suggestions for appropriate discipline? Options Megan and I have considered include wringing her neck, or throwing her down the stairs. Oh man, what if we took tv away... that would be the worst of all.
    July 20 at 10:47am · Privacy: ·  · 

    • Satadru Pramanik, Kimberly Kefalas and Caryn Lance like this.

      • Kimberly Kefalas Glenn, we used to do "hugging time outs," which involved me sitting down cross-legged and hugging Dylan to me and counting. We started very small (like up to 30) and then if he wasn't calm we'd just keep going. At first he might still be upset but then he would sit and start counting along with me and that turned out to be how he learned out to count. But every kid is different and also I had the luxury of not having to look after a baby while doing that! I liked it better than the idea of an isolated time out at such a young age.
        July 20 at 11:17am ·  ·  4 people

      • Glenn Smith With isolated time outs, they say just do as many minutes as the kid is old. But I like your method. I'll try it.
        July 20 at 11:18am ·  ·  1 person

      • Kimberly Kefalas P.S. Watch out for the backwards head-butt in the first twenty seconds of flailing, because it might be right at nose level. OUCH.
        July 20 at 11:20am ·  ·  1 person

      • Gabriel Venegas Don't they make apple bitter spray for that sort of thing?? Wait...
        July 20 at 11:26am ·  ·  2 people

      • Karen English Lezovich Kimberly's way sounds good. Also watch the feet if it gets to be a full body tantrum.
        July 20 at 12:15pm · 

      • Joann Snay Brady does the same thing..! I guess kids go thru that at some point in there development. I'm going to have to try the "Hugging timeout". It might make him even more angry tho, we shall see... Good luck! This is exactly why I'm afraid to have another baby!! :/
        July 20 at 1:36pm · 

      • Bethany Soule Taking TV away punishes you! Here's my philosophy on the subject (in way too much detail): 1) Pay attention to the child/person that got hit first. Make a big deal out of how they have an ouchie etc. instead of instant attention on the hitter. 2) be as super consistent about timeouts as you can and act like you have no discretion on the matter -- you hit someone, even on accident, that's a timeout because that is simply how the universe works. 3) #2 enables you to be empathetic, while still being firm and enforcing the rules -- 'yeah, that was totally rude how Tommy grabbed your truck, you are soooo mad. BUT we don't hit people' 4) keep the number of rules really small, and just figure out how to cast different infractions in terms of the rule. We've got two rules that have gotten us from 1.5-4 years: no hurting people (covers 90% of all timeouts), must follow instructions (for things like kids running away in the middle of parking lots and such). Two years isn't too young for timeouts. They're staring to get the concept of cause and effect and it is good practice for the future, just keep it simple and no lecturing. Cantor is about the same age as Lucy and we frequently have this exchange: C: "I'm gonna bite you!" B: "What happens when you bite someone? What is the consequence?" C: "Have a time out." B: "Do you want to have a time out?" C: "No..." And then he pouts, or squirms around on the floor...
        July 20 at 2:07pm · 

      • Ricky Garland Velcro suit,Velcro wall. Any questions? She can't hit anyone if she can't pull her arms off the wall....
        July 20 at 2:50pm ·  ·  2 people

      • Debbie Dingle Try mace.
        July 20 at 3:49pm ·  ·  2 people

      • Terri Channells We also do time outs but ours are in the mud room and the minute per year of age. Then you have to "make nice" to the person you hit or give them two compliments which is for my 8 yo not violet. She usally says sorry and then I make her say : "We do not hit each other. We love each other."
        July 20 at 7:13pm · 

      • Emily Watson so glad you asked this cause Timber has been hitting too and i didnt know what to do about it either. i like the hugging time out idea but cant help but wonder...should i give him more mommy attention when he is already acting up to get my attention?
        July 20 at 10:19pm · 

      • Alyssa Gibson no. you let your child know very firmly that it will not be tolerated. It's not okay to hit others and that's just the way it is. Get down to their eye level when you tell them this and then make them stand in the corner, sit in the time out chair, or whatever your method of "time out" may be. Give them a minute or two for each year old they are (3 yrs old =3-6 mins in time out). whatever you do, DO NOT give them what they want and try to get through hitting. But remember, it's a phase....most kids go through it. Just make your rules known and overall, be consistant!!!!
        July 20 at 11:53pm ·  ·  1 person

      • Kathy Smith Reading what you have to say about violent acts to your daughter makes me ill. I am so off fb.
        23 hours ago · 

      • Kathy Smith or thoughts of those acts...
        23 hours ago · 


Then, this!:
  • Kathy Smith
    Hi, Glenn. It's your dad. I never look at facebook, have no use for it, but your mother visited it today and read your note about frustrations in dealing with your daughter's hitting. Maternal instincts run deep in your mom, and when you suggest violence towards Lucy, you tear her heart out. Consider yourself scolded. Regarding Lucy's hitting, she doesn't know what to do with her anger. This is where you get to be the wise father. She's mad for a reason. If you can figure out why her anger makes sense, then you have teaching opportunities. For example, you have showered that child with undivded loving attention, until her sister was born. It's ok for her to be frustrated with how things have changed. She didn't get a choice, it just happened. Maybe you can help her verbalize why she's upset, and help her understand her own feelings, then she'll be able to move forward. I love you. You can't extinguish anger with anger. Peace out.
    22 hours ago ·  ·  · See Friendship
The horror!!
Scrawled on the wall in blood by by the moon of

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