She's my little tomboy

Toddler takes out book she loves, hides from it

This morning Lucy took out her Sesame Street Animal Alphabet book, opened it, got all shy at Grover, left the book with me and hid behind the automan, and a few minutes later started crying.  She was cool there for a little while, and it was amusing. It's always funny when she picks the book up, but then raises her eyes to the ceiling and puts her head back as far as she can, just to avoid the gaze of the characters she loves so much in the book she just picked up.

I can act like I don't get it, but shyness and embarrassment and bashfulness are indeed strong emotions in adults. We just learn to hide that stuff.

When she cried it was a little baffling, and a little annoying. A medium-strong cry, with some of the engine-revving sounds that I can't really reproduce in text form, but here is my attempt: aAAAaa-eehhhh-eehhhh-eehhhh-eeehhhh.

Mama took the book away from her.

Today I started laundry and took out the recycling and compost and garbage and Megan cleaned out the diaper pail (camouflage). Megan let me sleep in. I stayed in bed till 9, feeling a funny mix of guilt and relief for sleeping in. I love it when she has days off.

This is probably how stay-at-home moms feel when dad has the day off, but I've got a feeling that even on those days, mom still is the one who gets up to take care of the kid while dad sleeps in. I think I've got a really good deal going on here. Mama can't wait to see her baby in the morning, when baby's in a good mood. Cause usually, it's only after mama gets off work in the evening that she gets some baby time, when baby's crabby and tired and it's the end of the day. Megan only gets about 5 hours or so with Lucille before bed. I get her all day, and then I have to work all night (2 nights/week)!

Oh poor me. I was told that I'm lucky to have my kid a while back. A friend of mine, who lost a 6-month-old son to SIDS, said it. So I took that advice very seriously. I am darn lucky to have my kid. I will always cherish her, and I can't wait to see who she becomes when she gets older. I'm conveniently forgetting that she will have many many awkward years ahead of her, and the torture of elementary and junior and high school on top of that, but I still can't wait. I mean, that shit's unavoidable.

By the time she's my age, and able to understand how I feel about her, I'll be tired of waiting. I know I was an obnoxious teenager. Always angry. Always clinging to these ideals I knew nothing about. But I also grew up far from anything resembling advanced civilization, which I always detested. I didn't have to detest it, but I did. I still would. It's just not me. Maybe I did have to detest it. Maybe it's so inescapable that it's my duty to feel the way my... Id is telling me to feel. My natural way.

Digression is also annoying, sorry. That's something teenagers do, isn't it? I sure do see older people do it, too. Nervous people who overtalk themselves.

I digress. My daughter will grow up to be a sweet woman. She already has plenty of personality quirks that I am only beginning to understand.

No, that's not true. I get her. Her and I are on the level. We're both full of quirks. It doesn't get any better than that! Some things she does I don't quite follow, but for the most part I think I know where she's coming from.

That may change the more woman she gets, cause right now she's my little tomboy.

My mother recently said to me: After it's over you only remember the good parts. But when you're in the middle of it, it is a whirlwind, and it is hard.